Monday, September 10, 2007

10th September 2007

I can only go on my own and my friends experiences and tell you that it seems that once you grow up and become an adult yourself, your parents don't actually get any easier to deal with. It has been one of the big surprises in my life to discover that parents become an even bigger pain in the arse the older you get. I have had all kinds of problems with Dad and Kath. They have caused me more annoyance than pleasure at times. One of the worst was of these was after our wedding. My father is paranoid about my Grandfather and he won't admit to himself why that is. The fact of the matter is that Grandpa has been a fatherly influence on me simply because he has been around more than Dad has. So instead of doing something to change that he just directs all his anger to my Grandfather, using the past as a justification. Anyway I get this call after the wedding and he proceeds to tell me how humiliated he was that Grandpa got a bigger rap than he did during the wedding speeches. It’s like the speeches are some sort of gauge of how much love I have for certain people. He puts far too much emphasis on these moments such as wedding speeches, birthday cards and calls instead of what really matters; just being there and spending time together. Kath plants these little doubts in his head and they start to fester. Well you can imagine how I took this. He does not upset me very often however this time I was fuming. I advised him that I was not interested in feeding his own doubts and insecurities and if he wanted a copy of the speeches to see what I did say about him then he was welcome to it. Rather than take in what I said about him he concentrated on what I said about someone else. I can deal with the fact that he was not always around for me but I won't take these kinds of accusations lying down. There has been many times that I wonder who the father is. Kath has been the cause of many arguments and incidents over the years. Not much point going in to detail, I am merely pointing out just how complicated parents can be and to let you know I will do my best not to cause you such headaches. Just remind me of this entry any time you need to.