Smart food? Proof.

Dear Daughter,

I have spent some time in meditation over your spiritual future and after some careful googling i have found the perfect faith.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster (also known as the Spaghedeity) is the deity of a religion called The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its system of beliefs, "Pastafarianism". The religion was founded in 2005 by Bobby Henderson to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution. Because intelligent design implies the existence of an intelligent, but not necessarily omnipotent or omniscient designer, some, like Henderson, argued that this designer could, in fact, be anything imaginable.

In an open letter sent to the education board, Henderson makes a mockery of the concept of an intelligent designer by professing belief in a supernatural creator called the Flying Spaghetti Monster which resembles spaghetti and meatballs.He furthermore calls for the "Pastafarian" theory of creation to be taught in science classrooms.

Dont believe me? Well here be the truth -



Love Dad

Star Trek in the morning, husbands warning

Its 5am and Mum has disappeared again. I can uncurl myself from my fetal position at the corner of the bed and spread out like a snow angel and make contented little gurgling noises. Mum is in the living room watching Deep Space 9. She has been getting up around 4 or 5am more often now. She wakes up sore and very alert to all kinds of distracting noises, like me and my bizarre sleeping noises that range from sudden snorts at the back of my throat to smacking my lips and going Ahhhhh. A few minutes of that and she gives up and gets up to eat some nectarines and drink another litre of milk. Her taste buds must be playing up because she keeps handing me these bits of fruit to eat claiming them to be the most perfectly awesome taste sensation ever. I sink my teeth into these barely ripe delicacies and am hard pressed to find any taste in them at all. Its like eating wet foam.

You are turning mums placenta into an indoor rock climbing arena. You are moving all over the place although your preference is the left hand side. You then shimmie over so your back is on Mums right hand side which makes her tummy all misshapen. If Mum is not in the correct side in bed you give a few kicks to communicate your displeasure. She cannot wait to sleep on her back again, her favoured position. She has even found that she is getting pains under her ribs, as you push up with your foot or bum into her already squashed innards. She has to stand up and move around a bit to push you back down again. I got some great footage of you moving around a few nights back. Sadie was amazed by the ruckus you cause in there.

Nan Baker is taking next year off golf to help out with whatever is required. You Uncle Baker is actually telling his Mum that she better not spend more time with you than with his boy. The hilarious thing is that not once have they let him stay at his grandparents in 11 years. They don’t invite her down or contact her unless they want something, and now he is jealous because we will be letting her look after you. There are some real numbers in this world and our family has its fair share.

I have another great saying for you - 'as attentive as a three-toed sloth on cooking sherry'.

Listening to John Safran Podcast on Triple J.
Learning all about promiting websites by using key words for search engines to pick up.

Loving my hair at the moment, im beginning to look like a 70's hearthrob like Shaun Cassidy.


I get the impression reading other Parenting Blogs that these posts will not be anywhere near as large or often as they are now. Sleep takes precedence.

Blood sugar no sex magic

Your Mum called me up at work and said that she had her water colour pencils and had a small book as a mini desk on her stomach when she got a kick. She then removed the book and used hands to push in same spot and got another kick. I guess you didn’t appreciated having your head used as a table. Your great grandmother said she had the same thing when she had a bowl of peas to split. Her youngest kept kicking the bowl over.

Tomorrow you will be 31 weeks along. Nothing much going on really. Mum is doing really well, still going for walks with Jan who cant believe how fit she is at this stage. She gets up lots during the night which as you might have worked out is not in her nature. This blood sugar issue is not too bad, she is being careful about the foods she eats and it’s not really a big deal. She has started a painting for your room. She asked what I thought she should paint and I went to my little stash of kids books and found the little fairy book which has some beautiful drawings in it. We flipped through and found one we think will look like you. She is also painting your giraffe (well Carns thinks its hers).

I have been throwing mulch all over the garden and done some planting. I said to Mum after work yesterday that on the trip home in the train I was thinking to myself "gee there’s nothing to do tonight, its going to be really boring". Then I thought wow this is going to be a welcome feeling in a few months. But frankly I have had years of bored nights and I really wont miss it. Having kids later in life means that you have had the time to be selfish and independent. For some the change will freak them out but I look forward to this next phase with gusto.

I hope that you will know your calling. I seem to have fit into the category of people who like lots of things but not one thing enough to imagine making a career out of it. When I ask myself today what would I like to be doing in place of this strange tedious job, well I cant honestly say for sure. After doing this Podcast for a few years now I guess that would be a lot of fun. I can’t see how you can make a career out of it though. I would love to do Podcast’s on music, getting people turned on to new music is a great reward for me. Other than that I imagine myself just having the time to do what I want. Paint a bit, write a bit, have a band, find good music and read some great books. I think your Mum would be even simpler than that, in a good way. Just time together with the family in a house she loves, exploring her painting skills. I love that we both have this attitude toward life.

Silly Mummy does work herself into a tizz as im sure you have had plenty of opportunities to see. She has a bad habit of building situations up in her head and making them far more than they are. For example we talked this morning about the quote we got for downstairs. Grandpa Keith knows someone who may be able supply the window frame cheaper so we need to see what the builder thinks about that option. So its just one phone call. But in Mums mind it has become a whole day event in which she will be co-ordinating an Olympic size event on her own. Have I mentioned as yet that for most women when they are pregnant, their emotions go on a rollercoaster ride? For you Mum, that was her before she was pregnant! She has been so docile and had not raised her voice at all. Its been very funny. I told her that im going to have to keep her pregnant now. She has been known to lose it on occasion and the last few years I have been no help I don’t think. My approach had been to raise my voice right back at her, which I had not really done before that. It seemed to happen more to me when I got into this job where I felt more confident and assertive. So there has been incidences where I push her to that explosion and explode myself. Well we have discussed this and we both agree that this type of behaviour is a luxury that we cannot afford when you come along. It is what I think of as an indulgence for our egos. I refuse to have you grow up in an atmosphere in which you are scared. I really hope that this has been the case. We always sort our issues out which is why we have lasted this long and still love each others company.

I have told people about this diary for you and have been met with blank stares. I find myself having to keep explaining why I am doing it. I find this unsettling that people would think writing about my life is so strange. I usually end up by saying that this is exactly the sort of thing I wish my mother had done for me, to have so much to read and re-read for the rest of my life. It would be the greatest treasure I could ever own.