Pulling an all nighter, sorta

You slept 4 hours and 5 hours last night, WOW. Hope this is the shape of things to come. It means your Mum gets longer blocks of sleep during the night and less naps required during the day.

You did another huge poo, sorry but this is the exciting stuff for us. All parents worry about no poo.

You are also spending more time on the floor under the play gym. You keep yourself amused for longer periods of time looking around at all the colours. Its really nice to see. It takes you away from us holding you and enables you to start working the legs and arms.

We gave you the dummy again. Not for a long time but it helped settle you a bit.

Those age lines have arrived.

My Mums cousin, his wife and two kids came for a visit (for the first time ever) this weekend. I was feeding you on the recliner. The second that they entered the house and got a look at you, you threw up all over me. It was the most incredible timing. You always throw up on me the most you bugger.

You finally did a poo after a long wait. This is what our life is at the moment. Getting excited over poo and wee. It is so essential that you cant help but talk and think about it. That and temperature.

You were quite upset last night, working yourself up to a real tis. There was nothing really working and your Mum had gone to get some sleep but that didn’t work out. In the end she went and bought a dummy. It worked for a little bit but you don’t seem that interested with it.

I hit one of those brick walls today. Im getting over all these visitors, its too much. We need to cut it down a bit. Nine days in a row someone showed up. I have told your Mum that one day of the weekend needs to be just us.

We got some beautiful smiles and even more vocalising. A couple of new sounds we had not heard before. Mum says its like you are looking into her soul when you stare up the way you do. You really stare intently. Even amongst cries you smile. The sounds you make are so special. Sounds of hapiness and security. You feel safe with us.

I decided that I am more mind tired than phsyically tired. I don’t think I look tired most of the time. I think it might be about finding a new level. Im not sure.

Smiling is peculiar to the species

I have been thinking about the continuation of this diary and its readability. Surely you would not be able or even be interested in my detailing everything that goes on each day with you. I think a broader impression would serve better given this is going to be huge.

The last week you have started to smile quite a lot. For a parent this is obviously a big change and a welcome one. To see that smiling face look up at you is the best feeling in the world. On the flipside you have started to cry a little more when you get tired. We listen to the sounds you make to try and distinguish what they all mean. You are making more sounds now and I make lots of faces to you like mama and papa and dada and poking my tongue out going mmnnnnn.
This helps you because you try to mimic these shapes with you mouth which then leads to you developing speech. Most of the time you just stare at me and smile, but other times you really try to make the same face.

You are only 7 weeks which is hard to fathom and your progress is going along beautifully. Your Mother is just wonderful however my biggest surprise after your birth has been me. I always thought given my past that I would be more maternal than I am. I thought I would have almost more motherly instincts than fatherly simply because I was brought up around woman and I have always been in touch with that part of me as well. The thing is, your Mum is so instinctually good at all this that I have found no need or reason to try and switch that side of me on. Instead I now must learn to embrace what it is to be the Father, allowing your Mother to play her role.

Another surprise (although it shouldn’t have been) is that I still tend to get a little anxious and really need my own chill out time. It’s not unreasonable but I guess I was expecting to have unlimited energy and patience. I have to admit to myself that sometimes I wish you would just stay asleep so I can just chill out. This is something I am struggling with as I find myself feeling guilty about it. But the reality is that I go off to work before 7am, come home and dedicate the rest of the night to you until I go to bed. It is draining and I should recognise that it is hard.

This diary helps me no end and I have been thinking about this a lot. I want you to know where my head is at, even if it embarrasses me to admit things that I would rather keep to myself. But by now I have taught you that nobody is infallible. Learning things about yourself does not stop once you reach adulthood, far from it. Its just that many adults choose to ignore it and stay doggedly blindfolded to changing things about themselves because they can.


Just bought Taking the Quantam Leap by Fred Alan Wolf.
Reading Take a Girl Like You by Kingsley Amis.
Trying to get through some Peter Carey short stories at home, its not going so well!

And now a quick recap of todays news...

We just had the Australia Day long weekend, or invasion day as many see it. I have come through it a little tired but gratified by the changes I see in you. You have hardly slept at all during the last few days, catching small naps here and there but nothing like before. All of a sudden you have become much more aware of your surroundings.

I think these first few months are like slowly emerging from a heavy mist. You not only see things more clearly, you also appear more focused and attentive. During feeding time (I love the connotation of feeding time at the Zoo) you look into my eyes. I make shapes with my mouth, poke out my tongue and raise my eyebrows. These actions are usually met by the famous frown. About half way through a bottle I take it out and burp you which inevitably leads to you crying loudly at the injustice. At times when I offer the bottle back you are not quite ready to keep drinking. Another bout of crying and vigorous wriggling ensues. I either put you on my shoulder or walk you around for a while until you calm, or I begin to make the sucking motion with my own mouth. It is surprising how often this actually works. You see and hear my sucking and you begin to mimic me. This could prove the belief that you perceive internal and external as the same thing.

I think my favourite thing right now is when you sleep on me. I walk you around until you close your eyes then get myself comfortable on the couch. You lay stomach down on me and you sleep so restfully. As I breathe you move up and down like you are floating in the sea. Our hearts beat close to each other and I can look down at your face and wonder. And just like me you have to find your sweet spot, you raise yourself up all sleepy faced and turn your head to face the other direction. Sometimes you bury your face into me just like Carnie does, your little hands close to your mouth and I wonder if you can breathe. After some time I find your occasional wriggling has moved you down to my stomach and you are now lying crossways on me, legs dangling over the side.

You are getting so long that you hardly fit in the bath now. It’s only been six weeks and you are getting too big for things. My God this all happens quickly. You also spun completely round in the bassinet which is totally bizarre, I still don’t know how you accomplished this.

We went out to lunch on Saturday and saw the movie Juno while Nan Baker looked after you. It is good practice for her. We can only really have three people feed you otherwise it gets too confusing. We all have our own methods. Have I mentioned we have been working through the entire 7 seasons of Deep Space 9? We are doing well, I think we are up to Season 6 now. Quite a lot of viewing but you need something to watch when it’s feeding time for the little monkey. Which feels like all the time.

I tend to annoy your Mum trying to make sure she gets enough sleep. I have been backing off on this as she can look after herself. I still remind her but don’t push the subject. I think she is getting a decent amount now at night and once you add the afternoon or evening nap with the morning nap it adds up to enough. For me it is really kind of important that I know I can go to bed at 10:30 for work the next day. If I don’t I just cant function. I spend the next day in a daze. It’s funny that the first song I wrote down for you relates to us getting sleep, and I wrote it before you arrived.

So here is a quick run through of things we are noticing at the moment - we have started putting you under the mini gym a few weeks back but it’s only now that you are more interested. You particularly like the ones that spin. You are focusing on things more than ever, discovering new things so we are stimulating you a lot more with visuals. We are chilling out a lot more now and just going with the flow, both just automatically doing things that need doing without being told. People are saying your face is changing, that you have my eyes, others saying you have more of your Mum in your features now, that you look less new born. You are six weeks today, so much growth. You are stretching like a little plant finding the sun. Your socks no longer fit. There was a jump suit that fit fine one week then suddenly your little legs were too long, so Mum just cut the legs off. You definitely love being with us, you enjoy our cuddles and our voices. We continue to try and understand you more and observe, tune in to what you need.


Just finishing John Updike's - Bech: A Book. What an amazing writer. What prose.

Also finished Cormac McCarthy's - No Country For Old Men - it wasn’t as satisfying as I had hoped.

Found the Lost Lennon Tapes in Podcast version. This is a must for you to listen to.

Breaking out of the comfort zone.

Can you see how this diary has changed? I guess it will be this way for a little while as I still find a routine and some energy to keep this going. I find that any down time I get I just want to veg out and watch Deep Space 9 episodes. My biggest surprise so far has been the way your Mum has stepped up and really become the patient one of the both of us. Still for me I tend to get a little impatient if I know that I will be up until late and have to get up to work the next day. But your Mum shows such fortitude and unwavering enthusiasm. She has all this energy and going from someone who cherished sleep it has been amazing to me that she gets up after a couple of hours sleep with no complaints. Not that she necessarily wakes up straight away.

On Saturday morning around 2am I heard you begin your sequence of waking up which leads to crying if you are not on your toes. I heard you first and as it was Mum who was getting up I said her name to gently wake her up.

"Sweets"
"Mmmm"
"Little ones rousing"
"nnnnnwha?"
"Little ones waking up"
"nnnn its ok"
"What?"
"Its ok I have her"
"What do you mean?"
"(getting agitated) I have her, im holding her"
"What are you talking about?"
"Im holding her now its ok"
"Honey what are you on about, she’s waking up"
"What? Oh, ok".

I have had these kinds of conversations with her before. She gets confused with dream and the waking world. She finally wakes up and goes to prepare the milk for you. Apparently she was dreaming at that very moment about holding you. I actually got up myself a few minutes later to just check that she hadn’t remained confused and fed the bottle to Pippy and put you on the girls bed next to Carnie.

You will be very proud to know that you still drink more, poo more and fart louder than all the other babies at Mothers Group. When we burp you it’s the cutest thing to watch. You stretch out your arms and your legs and make a big groaning sound. We call it the 'Superman'. On Sunday night you were very thirsty indeed and downed about 150mls or more of milk. I had you over my shoulder (you can see what’s coming cant you, I wish I could have) and with no warning at all you threw up the whole lot right down my front. I was soaked. You had this satisfied look on your face after that, then proceeded to demand more milk! Argggghhhhhhhhh.

Mum joined in with me singing Frère Jacques while we were changing you. Your little face went into this state of concentration as you were listening to us. You really seemed to enjoy it. I think it must emit some good vibrations. Perhaps your relative calmness can be attributed to our approach to parenting. We are both very calm people and they do say babies just mirror back what they are surrounded by. I love giving both of you a hug. I’m not sure I have properly explained to you yet but I sing to you almost all the time. A lot more than I just speak. Speaking is singing in some way and so I think making it more pronounced can only help you understand language quicker later.

Your Mum loves our bath time together. She was telling me that one of the other new Dads from her Mums group loves to have shower time with his little one. That would be so funny seeing your face as the water hit you. Apparently they just moved the nozzle down so it didn’t get in their eyes. Have I told you that you have discovered my chest hair and grab it with those strong little fingers and refuse to let go? Now that smarts.

I’m very proud of the way we your Mum and I work together. I think our relationship is deepening in some really special ways. We both have made some changes regarding how we handle times of frustration and how to handle each other when this happens. At Mums Group some of the women were saying they have never argued so much with their husbands. For us it is quite different. We keep an eye out for each other and also talk about our approach to looking after you so we can make sure everything is consistent. This means small stuff as well like burping and wrapping and how to wipe your bum. We are a well oiled machine at the moment. I think I am doing a good job of keeping your Mum mentally on track as she tackles what to do with breastfeeding. Sometimes you have to just say “this is how it’s going to happen”, rather than make it a discussion. It is tiring stuff for her and it important to keep her looking at the big picture and counting your wins as well as your losses.

Listening to the John Safran Podcast last night and there was a man who spent time in jail and has since turned his life around. He read a lot of books and worked out what successful people had in common and tried to apply it to his life. Three things stood out to me. Firstly they all were brutally honest with themselves, secondly they denied themselves certain things to learn how to break out of their comfort zones and lastly that they all jealously guard their reputation and integrity. This third point is what is affecting my life at the moment. The way your Mums father and cousin have accused me of being the cause of their issues really annoys me as it goes against the very essence of what I am about. I must learn to ignore these sorts of people who really know nothing about me and not let it get to me. I guess I do think that everyone should like me and get shocked when someone doesn’t. Watch that ego boy.

The title 'Waking World' is a great title for a story. I should try it out.

Projectile love

Busy day at work yesterday. Work dares to get in the way of my diary. I must have words with work.

Last night you were very restless again and I was concerned for a bit that you had some stomach problems because nothing was calming you. You had projectile vomited a big amount of milk when neighbours were visiting, nice timing. After that you appeared to want more milk over the next few hours. Again I would put you down and ten minutes later you would be crying. I held you and hummed to you, tried a bit of milk and eventually you stayed asleep. I love you so much, perhaps even more so during these times when you are a bit stressed, because I can comfort you and make you feel safe. It doesn’t mean that I am not getting a little frustrated sometimes but that is just the old ways trying to reassert themselves. Remember for 35 years I have been able to do what I want. Now I have someone to care for and it is hard work at times.

Snooty elitist French speakers

I’m working from home today so it is much busier than if I was just at work. Your Mum is taking a bath as I type this. She loves her bath.

You had one of those days where the 3-4 hours feeding ritual went out the window and you were hard to settle. In the afternoon it was like a 4 hour feeding session in which you had a bit, pood twice, put you to bed, you woke up, fed more etc etc. Despite all that you never really got too upset.

When I walk you around and hum melodies to you it doesn’t take long to settle you. I tend to sing the Frera Jaqua song:

Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?
Sonnez les matinées, sonnez les matinées
Ding dang dong, ding dang dong

Your Aunty thinks I say it wrong. What would she know.

Ummmm

Had the baby......................... no time to write!

Class reunion - who looks like a bee bit their face.

We went out last night and saw some of your Mums old school friends for the first time in many years. It was strange seeing these faces all matured, some better preserved than others. Edie still looks younger than all of them. Whether its that olive skin that gives the illusion or something else im not sure, she is damn thin which seems to make you look younger, i wouldn't know about that. We went back to the local mall which is where your Mum hung out all the time as a kid and teenager. Even I spent a lot of time there when I was living at my grandparents. It is highly likely that we passed each other on a number of occasions, went to the same movies, ate at the same restaurants, shopped at the same stores. I would love to be able to transport back and see how often we crossed paths. Our subconscious would know as it picks up everything. I wonder if it can be done by hypnosis. I find this idea fascinating, that we would pass as strangers and then one day spend our lives together.

Pips got bitten by a bee on Friday night and we had to rush her off to the animal hospital at 11:30 at night. She puffed up and her heartbeat was very rapid. It seems to happen a lot with these two; six times we have had an emergency of things outside our control. It took her all weekend to recover. She had a nasty scab on her leg where she was bitten. Earlier that night we were at my Auntie Trixie's house for the last get together before my other Auntie and cousins flew off to London. Lilith was fascinated with you; she kept feeling Mums stomach and her eyes would go wide.

Took some great photos of Mum out in the garden holding flowers in a black dress. I cant wait to take pictures of the both of you out there. I think my love of photography is coming back again with a vengeance now i have good subject matter. I have always wanted to take pictures of people rather than places. Bigger challenge.

Tens - Unit Muscle Stimulator or instrument of torture?

I just recommended The Dice Man to a Goth in a second hand book store. I love recommending stuff to people, and The Dice Man can have a huge impact on people. I bought 7 books for just $25, I wonder if this is still possible for you. Remember I was talking about being a plumber, well now I like the idea of running a second hand book shop. Actually I am making myself appear more flighty than I am. Its just that I don’t really want to do this current job forever, I would like to find a job I really will enjoy, so I am just considering different options rather than suddenly deciding I want to be a spruiker for example and start to stand outside shops unannounced with a microphone.


I have not even worked out what year it will be when you read this. Let me do that now. Amuse yourself for a moment………………………………………. Ok its going to be around 2026 I think, I don’t trust my maths when working out whether you count the end of the year or the start.

I think its time for a Mum update, let’s check the score board for the latest stats - Mum has been getting the CTG scan weekly since week 35. It measures the heartbeat and uterine contractions (if there are any). You have been very active indeed and the doctors get quite surprised at the accelerations. You are a very active little baby. Everything has been fine and was again this week. She then went for her doctors appointment (this is all at the Hospital) to get her blood pressure taken and provide a urine sample to check the protein amounts. They also measure the uterus to make sure you are growing to schedule, which you were. This time she also got to have a scan to see where your head is and make sure you are in the right position, which again you are. You still favour the left side. Back to the blood pressure for a second; it was on the cusp of the high end which worried the doctor a bit because that has been really good all the way through. Of course once the doctor described all the symptoms of high blood pressure suddenly they all appeared. So for the last two days she has had to wee into a large milk container which is basically to check for preeclampsia. The end result of this would be to bring you into the world a bit earlier. We are not so concerned because after she saw the doctor and did a few other things she went back down to the nurse who has been so nice (and we are trying to set her up with Chas) and asked to do the blood pressure check again. It was fine so go figure. She is also having regular Braxton hick’s contractions without too much discomfort or really any pain. Speaking of pain - she also went to her 'tens' appointment. Tens is a Unit Muscle Stimulator that she can flick on as a distraction to labour pains. It’s a tiny thing but powerful. She put these little patches on my arm and turned it up and it was awful, im afraid I screamed like girl in a 50's horror flick.

But I gotta say, she’s HUGE now. I took some photos of her and it is so strange because the rest of her is normal size, actually smaller than before she was pregnant. When she is on the bed lying on her side, her stomach sort of spills away from her torso like it has melted a bit.

I realise it is very very close now and we finally get to meet. I'm not sure I have totally prepared myself for all this happening any time soon. Life still goes along as normal and yet in a few weeks everything will change. A lady at work says you can’t really prepare. I wish I could pop in a time machine and see myself with you; I just think it would help me place myself as a father. I seem to need visuals to make things real for me. I learn best by being shown things. So I guess my learning begins when your Mum introduces you by pushing really hard!

This weeks 'Friday Affettuoso' - a John Cale cover

This weeks 'Friday Affettuoso' is a wonderful cover of John Cale's masterpiece 'I keep a close watch'. Originally released on Helen Of Troy it also appeared on Music For a New Society.

John Cale is one of the few originals (other notable is Bowie) willing to push himself into new aural landscapes whether it sells or not. From his work with Velvet Underground to his solo work, there has been no compromising. He has also produced such artists as The Stooges, Nico, Patti Smith and Jonathan Richman.



Other John Cale recommendations - Paris 1919, Vintage Violence, Slow Dazzle, HoboSapiens.

Star Trek in the morning, husbands warning

Its 5am and Mum has disappeared again. I can uncurl myself from my fetal position at the corner of the bed and spread out like a snow angel and make contented little gurgling noises. Mum is in the living room watching Deep Space 9. She has been getting up around 4 or 5am more often now. She wakes up sore and very alert to all kinds of distracting noises, like me and my bizarre sleeping noises that range from sudden snorts at the back of my throat to smacking my lips and going Ahhhhh. A few minutes of that and she gives up and gets up to eat some nectarines and drink another litre of milk. Her taste buds must be playing up because she keeps handing me these bits of fruit to eat claiming them to be the most perfectly awesome taste sensation ever. I sink my teeth into these barely ripe delicacies and am hard pressed to find any taste in them at all. Its like eating wet foam.

You are turning mums placenta into an indoor rock climbing arena. You are moving all over the place although your preference is the left hand side. You then shimmie over so your back is on Mums right hand side which makes her tummy all misshapen. If Mum is not in the correct side in bed you give a few kicks to communicate your displeasure. She cannot wait to sleep on her back again, her favoured position. She has even found that she is getting pains under her ribs, as you push up with your foot or bum into her already squashed innards. She has to stand up and move around a bit to push you back down again. I got some great footage of you moving around a few nights back. Sadie was amazed by the ruckus you cause in there.

Nan Baker is taking next year off golf to help out with whatever is required. You Uncle Baker is actually telling his Mum that she better not spend more time with you than with his boy. The hilarious thing is that not once have they let him stay at his grandparents in 11 years. They don’t invite her down or contact her unless they want something, and now he is jealous because we will be letting her look after you. There are some real numbers in this world and our family has its fair share.

I have another great saying for you - 'as attentive as a three-toed sloth on cooking sherry'.

Listening to John Safran Podcast on Triple J.
Learning all about promiting websites by using key words for search engines to pick up.

Loving my hair at the moment, im beginning to look like a 70's hearthrob like Shaun Cassidy.


I get the impression reading other Parenting Blogs that these posts will not be anywhere near as large or often as they are now. Sleep takes precedence.

Carns is bored

Carns is bored,
originally uploaded by The Dad Diaries.

When is this kid going to arrive?

Scribbit's Write-away contest

Scribbit's Blog is running a write-away contest with the topic "My favorite day". I thought i might add this Post as my entry. Hope you like.

My favorite day has not occurred yet. Some people would say "you can’t have a favorite day if it’s in the future you silly man", but all I can say to that is pish posh. The day I am referring to is the birth of my daughter, which by all accounts is set to be Christmas day 2007 (and no we are not calling her Holly). There are those detractors and nay sayer’s out there who smugly like to remind me that there is no guarantee of things going according to plan; that all kinds of problems can arise and that you must be prepared for anything. Well duh! I have never been under the misapprehension that anything in life is guaranteed; I certainly do not recall signing a contract on the non-proliferation of bad times before becoming a twinkle in my Dad's eye. For you to fully appreciate what joy is you must first experience suffering. Sometimes the two can appear together like some unholy marriage of convenience. I am prepared for things not going according to plan, but I won’t relinquish my belief that the birth of my little girl is going to be my favorite day. We are bombarded by televangelists and the like telling us to have faith, and im not saying that I totally agree with their method but I must concur with their sentiment, but with a twist. In order for you to have faith in something higher you must first have faith in yourself; faith in your abilities, in your strengths, in your partner and faith in the future. To quote Timbuk 3 - "The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades". So my faith remains unshaken by the what if's of this world. I must hold on to the belief that there is good in this world as well as bad, and I refuse to turn the birth of my child into another reflection on uncertainty. I claim this day as a good day, a joyous day, my favorite day.

More holidays to Apollo Bay, less work please

It’s getting real close now. Down to weeks. Your Mum has put a towel on the car seat just in case the levee breaks. "I work on the levee, mama both night and day, I work so hard, to keep the water away. It's a mean old levee, cause me to weep and moan, gonna leave my baby, and my happy home". My job is my levee too, I resent it enough now let alone when you arrive. I still want to be an at home Dad for you. Your Mum enjoys her job and gets all the holidays whereas I hate the job and get very few holidays. I would love to be around for you as you grow up. Its not always possible however, we shall just have to see. I hope we have given you enough of our time that you don’t feel short changed.

This weekend was another backbreaking chain gang of chores entirely of my own choosing. I have been painting so much that on Friday when I took Nan to the MSO concert I was barely able to applaud. My arms shaking violently as I strained to raise them and provide yet another encore opportunity for the conductor. You’re Mum and I have been to five concerts this year for the MSO. This last one we decided I should take my Gran for a night out. It was at the Town Hall instead of the usual showier venue. Nan told me that the last time she was in the town hall was for the Bing Crosby appreciation society club dance when she was 17 (that would make it around 1946). She talked about all the places she used to go on nights out and for lunches. She went on a date with an English sailor once and was escorted back to the station where he shook her hand and said "Thankyou I had a lovely time, good evening Miss Howie". I told this to your Mum and she just rolled her eyes and went "gypped". She has a dirty mind sometimes. My Nan also volunteered in a canteen in Collins St where she made sandwiches and coffee for the servicemen. She met my Grandad from memory working in Myer together. I will be getting all these stories and adding them to the diary later. I told her I want to video them telling all kinds of stories about their life for you. The great thing about digital format is that we can just shoot for hours and store it on a hard drive. The stories she tells me are so amazing, such a different life to what yours will be, although it is my intention to make sure you experience some of the same things they did. Volunteering at old age homes, tree planting days, things like that.

Grandpa tells me that when he was an underage house painter he used to have to carry all his equipment, including the ladder and paint tins in the train with his bike. Can you imagine that now? If you want evidence for how lazy we have become just look at the beginning of this paragraph. Poor little Dad has sore arms because he has done a little painting for Gods sakes. I milk it for all its worth once I get back upstairs, making wincing noises and rubbing my arms like I just wrestled with Zeus. So by the time you have arrived she has already got a good 15 years Mothering experience from looking after me.

I just read a Blog about a guy whose ear hair was mistaken for a stray bit of clothing fluff. I commented that I have so much fuzz on my ears that if I stand in front of a light it looks like I am growing angel’s wings out the side of my head. I also have either chest hair creeping up to my chin or a beard which is losing the fight against gravity and moving down to my chest. In the last year my eyebrows have established a few rogue hairs which have broken with convention and decided to create an upper canopy, which may provide shade for the shorter well behaved hairs but does nothing for my faces symmetry. By trimming the offending hairs to their regular size begins a vicious cycle that only exacerbates over time. For once you trim that hair the surrounding hairs think this is an opportunity to take over the position of head boy. All of a sudden you have a race for the sun on your hands, as your eyebrow begins to look more like a pair of hairy caterpillars on growth hormones. Give it a few years and I won’t need to wear a capped hat.

Your Mum is having weird baby dreams. She just told me about this one this morning. She went into labour and so I rushed her to the hospital. Then we are sitting in the waiting room and the nurse comes up to us and hands the baby over to her. She couldn’t remember having it though and asked me if she had to take any drugs. I told her no and she did really well. She then uncovered the baby who was all wrapped up including her head. She was beautiful, but then the more she looked the more she started noticing dog features, the eyes got bigger and the face started sprouting hair and the ears got pointy. By the end she said you looked exactly like a Chihuahua.

Christmas is soon upon us as well, a fact that I am sure you are tired of hearing because it will fall so close to your birthday. I was talking to my Nan about how the Christmas spirit of community and group celebration is virtually gone from the workplace because they don’t wish to spend the money on their staff any more. I said that this is part of a bigger issue and one in which will effectively wipe out the concept of loyalty and pride in your work. People are now thinking if they can’t even be bothered giving us a decent Christmas party why should I put in any effort? Cost cutting does not save money for a company. It breeds apathy and resentment which then effects performance and the bottom line. I can remember going to our local social Club when I was a kid to see Santa. It was a venue where people can meet and have a drink, eat dinner, have a dance etc. They put on a great day for the family for all the Club members. Santa would even come in a helicopter (he would sit in my grandparents leather chair which I hope will come to us). It was damn the expense and let’s give them a great time to say thanks for being a member. This does not happen any more. The Club itself is now just another venue built around pokies machines. Well I will try my best to make sure you have a ball during Christmas. I will aim to get the street involved and have a big Christmas party in the park for everyone to come to. Am I an idealist or has it actually come true? I hope that I have risen the occasion and done everything I can to make you a well rounded person.

So anyway, back to Bach. The Friday concert was the best yet, Bach is my favourite music. It just speaks to me and I don’t have to struggle to understand it and I am never bored listening to it. What is different is that his music often doesn’t have any melodies that you immediately recognise or even remember once the piece is finished. It’s those intertwining lines of melody that don’t really go anywhere that appeal to me. It doesn’t really go anywhere, you don’t recall strong repeating themes repeating and then given variations in different keys and tempos. It doesn’t always resolve itself in obvious ways that someone like Mozart is so good at. Its music of the ether, Gods music. It is the kind of music you can listen to for years before it becomes too familiar. The perfect desert island disk would be Bach. We also listened to a new Clarinet Concerto by Ross Edwards which was wonderful and finally Beethoven's 5th which is also one of the most perfect pieces of music ever created. It was a wonderful concert and im glad I got to share it with my Grandma.

Im sitting here on the top floor looking out to the Dandenong ranges. The dark grey clouds are hovering low above our house and lighting strikes light up the sky. Rain has become more precious than oil.

Bought the Definitive Rolf Harris and 'The most relaxing Bach album in the world'.

Listening to music we can play during your birth, here are some I found today -


Shostakovich - Symphony No.9 in E Flat Major, Op. 70 - Moderato
Haydn - Symphony No.22 in E Flat Major, "The Philosopher" - Adagio
Hayden - Symphony No.26 in D Minor, "Lamentatione" - Adagio (Chorale)
Mahler - Symphony No.1 in D, "The Titan" - 3. Feierlich und gemessen, nicht schleppend
Beethoven - Piano Sonata No.14 "Moonlight" - Adagio sostenuto
Beethoven - Piano Sonata No.8, "Pathetique" - Adagio cantabile
Beethoven No.6, "Pastoral" - Allegro ma non troppo