And now a quick recap of todays news...

We just had the Australia Day long weekend, or invasion day as many see it. I have come through it a little tired but gratified by the changes I see in you. You have hardly slept at all during the last few days, catching small naps here and there but nothing like before. All of a sudden you have become much more aware of your surroundings.

I think these first few months are like slowly emerging from a heavy mist. You not only see things more clearly, you also appear more focused and attentive. During feeding time (I love the connotation of feeding time at the Zoo) you look into my eyes. I make shapes with my mouth, poke out my tongue and raise my eyebrows. These actions are usually met by the famous frown. About half way through a bottle I take it out and burp you which inevitably leads to you crying loudly at the injustice. At times when I offer the bottle back you are not quite ready to keep drinking. Another bout of crying and vigorous wriggling ensues. I either put you on my shoulder or walk you around for a while until you calm, or I begin to make the sucking motion with my own mouth. It is surprising how often this actually works. You see and hear my sucking and you begin to mimic me. This could prove the belief that you perceive internal and external as the same thing.

I think my favourite thing right now is when you sleep on me. I walk you around until you close your eyes then get myself comfortable on the couch. You lay stomach down on me and you sleep so restfully. As I breathe you move up and down like you are floating in the sea. Our hearts beat close to each other and I can look down at your face and wonder. And just like me you have to find your sweet spot, you raise yourself up all sleepy faced and turn your head to face the other direction. Sometimes you bury your face into me just like Carnie does, your little hands close to your mouth and I wonder if you can breathe. After some time I find your occasional wriggling has moved you down to my stomach and you are now lying crossways on me, legs dangling over the side.

You are getting so long that you hardly fit in the bath now. It’s only been six weeks and you are getting too big for things. My God this all happens quickly. You also spun completely round in the bassinet which is totally bizarre, I still don’t know how you accomplished this.

We went out to lunch on Saturday and saw the movie Juno while Nan Baker looked after you. It is good practice for her. We can only really have three people feed you otherwise it gets too confusing. We all have our own methods. Have I mentioned we have been working through the entire 7 seasons of Deep Space 9? We are doing well, I think we are up to Season 6 now. Quite a lot of viewing but you need something to watch when it’s feeding time for the little monkey. Which feels like all the time.

I tend to annoy your Mum trying to make sure she gets enough sleep. I have been backing off on this as she can look after herself. I still remind her but don’t push the subject. I think she is getting a decent amount now at night and once you add the afternoon or evening nap with the morning nap it adds up to enough. For me it is really kind of important that I know I can go to bed at 10:30 for work the next day. If I don’t I just cant function. I spend the next day in a daze. It’s funny that the first song I wrote down for you relates to us getting sleep, and I wrote it before you arrived.

So here is a quick run through of things we are noticing at the moment - we have started putting you under the mini gym a few weeks back but it’s only now that you are more interested. You particularly like the ones that spin. You are focusing on things more than ever, discovering new things so we are stimulating you a lot more with visuals. We are chilling out a lot more now and just going with the flow, both just automatically doing things that need doing without being told. People are saying your face is changing, that you have my eyes, others saying you have more of your Mum in your features now, that you look less new born. You are six weeks today, so much growth. You are stretching like a little plant finding the sun. Your socks no longer fit. There was a jump suit that fit fine one week then suddenly your little legs were too long, so Mum just cut the legs off. You definitely love being with us, you enjoy our cuddles and our voices. We continue to try and understand you more and observe, tune in to what you need.


Just finishing John Updike's - Bech: A Book. What an amazing writer. What prose.

Also finished Cormac McCarthy's - No Country For Old Men - it wasn’t as satisfying as I had hoped.

Found the Lost Lennon Tapes in Podcast version. This is a must for you to listen to.

Class reunion - who looks like a bee bit their face.

We went out last night and saw some of your Mums old school friends for the first time in many years. It was strange seeing these faces all matured, some better preserved than others. Edie still looks younger than all of them. Whether its that olive skin that gives the illusion or something else im not sure, she is damn thin which seems to make you look younger, i wouldn't know about that. We went back to the local mall which is where your Mum hung out all the time as a kid and teenager. Even I spent a lot of time there when I was living at my grandparents. It is highly likely that we passed each other on a number of occasions, went to the same movies, ate at the same restaurants, shopped at the same stores. I would love to be able to transport back and see how often we crossed paths. Our subconscious would know as it picks up everything. I wonder if it can be done by hypnosis. I find this idea fascinating, that we would pass as strangers and then one day spend our lives together.

Pips got bitten by a bee on Friday night and we had to rush her off to the animal hospital at 11:30 at night. She puffed up and her heartbeat was very rapid. It seems to happen a lot with these two; six times we have had an emergency of things outside our control. It took her all weekend to recover. She had a nasty scab on her leg where she was bitten. Earlier that night we were at my Auntie Trixie's house for the last get together before my other Auntie and cousins flew off to London. Lilith was fascinated with you; she kept feeling Mums stomach and her eyes would go wide.

Took some great photos of Mum out in the garden holding flowers in a black dress. I cant wait to take pictures of the both of you out there. I think my love of photography is coming back again with a vengeance now i have good subject matter. I have always wanted to take pictures of people rather than places. Bigger challenge.

Johanna Beach and the little'uns

Ryan just called and told me he is going to have another baby in March. That’s his second but the family has more kids from past husband. Having many children definitely worked pre-industrialisation because working on farms meant that you have to use family to work it. But now, it must be harder? You simply cant invest enough time with each child so the less demanding ones may get less love and attention. At least there is love and good intentions. He said to your Mum that I appeared to not want you to be associating with his kids, it was such a strange comment to make given he never calls or visits us. He actually drives past our house on the way to see his sister. I am a realist I guess, I just cant see us seeing them that much until they move down to Melbourne. I dislike pretending outcomes that are not likely. I wish it were different and they were down here.

I have also been remiss in mentioning that around about now we would be heading off overseas on a 3 week trip to Europe. What is funny is that I completely forgot about it. I have been waiting for a long time to go back to the UK but as soon as we knew you were coming I couldn’t care less. I would hope that we have all gone over by the time you read this.

We have just come back from our last trip away before your arrival. It was just wonderful. Johanna beach with a view more stunning than your Dads gorgeous face. The dogs love the beach, wind in their hair and the feel of sand under their feet. Dogs love different textures. Your mum has been sick the last few days which has not been nice, its been a beautiful place to recover though, I hope we have had the chance to take you here. I have been taking the girls up into the dunes exploring which has been funny. There are wallabies up here and we saw one on our first explore then we heard one crashing through the brush when we got too close. The view is just wonderful and the wind is a little scary at night (I went and got the girls to sleep in the bed with me because your mum was in the other room because of her coughing and nose blowing, what a nice wife I have).

I had my ear against her tummy one day and I could hear all these weird sounds. It was like going underwater in the bath and blowing little bubbles. It was the strangest sounds. I then started singing How much is that doggy in the window and I could even hear when you were moving about.